Dealing with Feeling

Standing there. On the edge. Ready to jump. Ready to fall down. Ready to fall deep. Ready to fall under.

My heart beats like a bass drum. Thumping. My adrenaline rising. My eyes dilating.

This is it.

This is the moment.

....

Everything goes quiet. Yet I can still hear my heart. Pounding. Faster. Faster. Faster. 

It all goes white. 

As I come too, I find myself surfing in a sea of oscillating arms. Wipe out. 

It all goes white again. 

The throbbing gets louder.

I open my eyes. I can see... me.

She approaches me. She talks to me. She touches me. She wants me.

We collide.  Enveloped in a vortex of feeling. 

I can see... me.

Dividing.

Multiplying.

Aggregating.

Running.

Running towards the light.

It all goes white. 

Yet I can still hear it. My heart. It won't stop thumping. It won't stop pounding. It won't stop throbbing.

I am alive. But dark.

I see her. She smiles. She's light.

Two sides of the same coin. We flip. Probability.

It's all just a game. Chance.

We flip. 

I feel feeling. I feel it building. Supernova.

It all goes white.

My heart cracking like thunder. 

Black rain drops on my eyes. It's coming.

I feel feeling. I feel it building. Hiroshima.

It's all just a game. Chance.

We flip. 

It's tails. You win.

HRM